May 29, 2010

Cosmo doens't get it

So at some point recently I heard that Cosmo wrote an article about how to make your guy the perfect sandwich. Which at first I thought was just funny but then I realized they probably meant this as a real teaching/relationship tool. Like "Hey ladies, you might not know this, but if you treat your guy like he's the king and you bow to his every whim you might hook him".

Which is bologna. On white.

It's such a mid 20th century view that you must cook, clean and bow down to your man to have a healthy relationship. R and I share the house duties, we share responsibilities, we take time to spend at home being as I call it, domestic.

And by domestic I do not mean making my guy a sandwich. If we're going to be honest, R does about 95% of the cooking, so if anything Cosmo should write articles to men telling them to be more like that. And Maxim should follow suit.

By domestic I mean cleaning the house together, getting food prepared for the week together, getting the things in our lives in order so we can enjoy the together-time we spend, rather than argue about whose turn it is to do X,Y, or Z.

I don't think that by R cooking more than I do is in anyway saying he is a "feminine" man. Not at all. He's SUCH a guy (Gears of War, sits in his boxers, drinks beer, loves sports and music, grills, does the yard work and heavy lifting) but he enjoys cooking. (or seems to enjoy it enough to have fooled me for 4 years now!)

He is an enlightened man. He gets that we women are delicate and fickle creatures who cannot be classified just by our gender. None of us are the same. He knows that if he wants a sandwich be better be prepared to make it himself. And if I offer to do it, it's because I want to do something nice for him, NOT because I feel it is my duty.

But his being able and willing to cook does not negate any of that, and I think more men need to get that memo, make their own damn sandwich and get on with their lives.

Magazines like Cosmo need to take a page from ones like Glamour, and realize this is not the 1950's anymore, woman need more information than "7 Great new sex positions" and "How to fool a guy into proposing." They need real advice for the real world that we live in today. Advice about how to not only ask for, but get the raise you deserve. Advice on how to stop being a shop-a-holic and start saving for the future. How to negotiate your used car sale. There's nothing wrong with how to host a dinner party advice either, but there is something innately wrong about saying we need to do this for a man. We need to do this for ourselves.

{steps down from soapbox}

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