March 05, 2009

Corduroy

So my mom and I (though mostly mom) has had this cat for many years, 13 to be exact. She is a small white cat with black spots on her, and to be honest, isn't the most friendly of the feline variety. She is sweet, to my mom, and tolerates the rest of us. Barely tolerates the men in the family in fact. But she was ours. My first cat. Though now I have my own two sweet kitties, Maxx and Zoe, Corduroy was always my first cat.

But lately she has been, well, not well. She hasn't been eating much, she hasn't been roaming around the house, and mom has noticed she doesn't walk as well as she used too, even last year, even in the last few months. So Monday morning mom bit the bullet and took Cord to the vet. The prognosis wasn't good. They found a large lump in her abdomen, and while initial tests are inconclusive that it's not diabities, a thyroid disease, or anything like that, even if it's not cancer, it's not good. It's very large, and for such a small kitty she is most likely in pain. Even if we do more tests, or find a treatment, she will still have it, and there is no miracle cure. We've talked about it, and both come to the conclusion that it is time to let her go.

It is very sad for me, on so many levels, and I really just feel like I need to get it out, to let it go and be sad about it. Yes, I have my own cats, and I love them dearly, but this is just another reminder of how fragile, and how quickly life can change on you. And like I said, she is my first cat.

I saw her last night, and she is very skinny, and didn't really move much from her place on the couch. and I knew then that the kindest thing we can do for her is to let her go so she is no longer is any pain or discomfort. She lived a good life, and was a good kitty, and I will always remember her and love her. But I really feel that this is the best thing, even though it is the hard thing to do. I cannot be with her when we do put her to sleep, so this is my goodbye to Cord-kitty.

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